Review: “A Very British Christmas” (2019)

Basic winter wear: jeans, leggings, sweaters, coats, hats, scarves. Nothing noteworthy.

And considering this is England, I expected better.

Let’s face it. I love my country to my core, but there’s one thing that I can say Continentals do better than we, and that is fashion.

Have we had good designers? Sure. Edith Head will always be my heroine on that front.

However, modern fashion (and by “modern,” I mean anything after the Sixties) has left a lot to be desired.

So when I sit down to watch the Brits, I’m prepped for people with good fashion sense.

But this movie… well, if some accents couldn’t quite rate “American,” the fashion made me feel right at home.

Standard setup: Girl diverted from her path meets handsome widower with adorable daughter.

He faces money troubles; big bad mining company plus crusty neighbor want his land.

Girl falls for boy, daughter, and town. She must leave Christmas Eve. Hearts break. Last-minute decision to stay. Happy ending!

But the execution?

Contrived and rushed.

She arrives about a week before Christmas and supposedly falls in love in days?

For pale-blue eyes, charming smile, and rugged physique alone? Not bloody likely, even if he is a hunk.

“Andrew Hunter, you are such a chivalrous gentleman. Would you just kiss me, please?”

It might’ve worked better if she weren’t so annoyingly pushy — AND LYING to him!

Plus they cut away from the riverside kiss, making it anticlimactic.

Nothing untoward whatsoever — completely family-appropriate content.

This had real potential.

The Yorkshire setting is gorgeous, Andrew is majorly hubba (I could absolutely use him in my historical romances), and Katie avoids the annoying-child-actor trap.

But the lead actress sinks what could’ve been a new favorite.

Three major issues plague this film:

Issue #1: Jessica professes to be a “strong, independent female” who doesn’t “need anyone.”

But if you have to declare your strength and independence, it’s usually proof you’re anything but.

Issue #2: Timeline absurdity.

She arrives about a week before Christmas and supposedly falls in love in mere days. Way too quick, even for movie magic.

Issue #3: Manufactured drama.

Jessica keeps making plans and pushing back her departure when a simple honest conversation would’ve solved everything: “I’m falling for this place and all of you, but I have obligations back home. I can’t make THIS Christmas, but let’s plan better for next year so I can balance my career with a life here.”

But no — we need artificial now-or-never tension for the time slot. The supposed suspense creates only eye-rolling. There WAS NO real drama. Why make it so do-or-die?

Contrived storytelling at its worst.